Trusting our natural responsiveness

I’ve been amazed in the last few weeks by the adaptability of human beings. Of course, it’s kind of obvious - it’s why we evolved as a species - but seeing it in such plain sight at a time of such disruption has been really interesting. Social distancing became the new normal. Thinking about people shaking hands or hugging produces a shock response in me. I was on a group Zoom call the other evening, a Birthday party for my friend with about 25 of us sharing the screen - and we all gave him a “virtual” hug to wish him Happy Birthday. We also rejoiced in his merits, which was really beautiful. What I’m saying is, we can and are adapting very quickly and are able to co-operate with each other. 

I do find this very moving. As a Sangha, we are used to the idea of trying to work together, co-operating, working for the greater good as it were, considering each other, practising generosity. But to see these qualities in the wider community around me is just really beautiful and heartening. Of course, they are human qualities and not exclusively owned by Buddhists! But in a world where we tend to hear and see more of the “bad” news and society can feel disconnected, it’s amazing to see that this quality of adaptability and connection can rise up at a time of crisis. Group Whatsapps I am in with neighbours and Facebook pages for local communities are showing people offering all sorts - to do shopping for those isolated, checking in on others, offering reassurance.

And then there’s resistance. Resistance to adapting, to doing things differently. To living our lives without that element of freedom we’re so used to. I was shocked at the strength of my own response to the announcement on Monday from Boris around more stringent measures to keep us safe. A Lockdown?! I had a very visceral, strong panic sensation low down in my belly… A tight grip of fear. I was surprised by this, because I’d been hoping that would be the announcement and expecting it. So what was the fear? When I looked more deeply into it, it was a fear of losing my freedom - even though I enjoy being at home and am quite introverted by nature, the thought that I could only go out once a day and for very specific reasons did produce a more rapid heartbeat. I tried to feel and soften into the sensations, understand the fear. Reassure myself whilst also bringing a broader perspective - the relative “freedom” I had before we had heard of Covid-19 is nothing in comparison to the freedom of heart and mind experienced by the Buddha and Bodhisattvas. We aren’t actually free until we have seen and understood the suffering which comes from identifying with ourselves in a fixed way. The fear and resistance softened and I’m adapting. Enjoying my daily walk, getting used to how to use Zoom, washing my hands more, greeting the delivery man at the door from two metres away.

And it feels a gift to be forced to live more in the moment - a day at a time, an hour at a time, a minute at a time… This moment. Then this moment. The amount of new information we receive daily can be overwhelming and things are changing rapidly. Yet, all we can do is respond in the moment, with as much wisdom, courage, love and energy as possible. I do find my mind occasionally wandering to “What if…” but I am, for now, appreciating the discipline of my mind to choose “Not now. I don’t need to go there now”.

Wishing you all well out there. Whether you are adapting or experiencing resistance - know that “This too shall pass”.

Kusaladevi