Enjoying Mudita (Sympathetic Joy)
I’ve recently fallen in love with mudita. Translated as sympathetic joy, or sometimes gladness, mudita is one of the four Brahma Viharas, or divine abodes. Along with metta (loving-kindness), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity), mudita is one of the beautiful mental states in which an enlightened being is said to abide.
I was re-introduced to mudita last week when I joined in a Brahma Viharas retreat on the Buddhist Centre Online. At the beginning we were asked to clarify our intention for the retreat, which we would keep in mind to to fuel our practice throughout the week. I found that my first impulse for an intention was simply, “I just want to dwell in the divine abodes!” I was so drawn to that beautiful image, the peace and ease it suggested. But then I thought, “That isn’t really an appropriate intention for the retreat. I should intend something that would be good for all beings, not just what would feel good for me.”
After a bit of wrestling with what else I might intend, I recognised an old pattern to force myself toward some internalised view of “the right thing to do.” I decided to just go ahead with my original impulse, and set my intention for the retreat as fully enjoying myself, dwelling in the divine abodes. It was what I actually wanted, and so I trusted it to provide me with the energy, the juice, to really help me engage deeply with the retreat. And it seemed to work. Each time I came back to that intention throughout the day, I felt an easing in my heart, a softening, a sense that my being could unfreeze and flow again.
The retreat was led by Ratnavandana, a very experienced Order Member who has spent 40 years with the Brahma Viharas as her main practice. The whole thing was incredibly inspiring, I really recommend it. But it was when we hit Day 4, on mudita, that my mind was really blown.
So mudita (sympathetic joy, or gladness), is the joy we experience in response to the happiness, good fortune or skilfulness of others — it is what happens when metta meets those things. And…it’s also what happens when metta meets those things in ourselves. This was a bit that I hadn’t really registered in the past — we can also have self-mudita! Which I’m just starting to explore, but it feels something like fully noticing, allowing and enjoying my pleasant experiences. It’s the difference between having a hot bath to tick it off my list, and basking in a hot bath. And I’m starting to think it’s actually essential to my practice, much as self-metta is.
Ratnavandana mentioned it can be helpful to have a look at our views around suffering and pleasure. She mentioned some common views:
I’m a person who suffers.
Suffering is real, pleasure is ephemeral.
Pleasure is something to get to when everything else is done.
Well! These all struck home for me — they are views I hold quite deeply, and that very much colour my experience. And of course, none of them are true. I’m a person who suffers and one who experiences joy. Pleasure is as real, and suffering as ephemeral, as each other. Both need to be accepted and held in metta-ful awareness. And according to Ratnavandana, pleasure is not in fact an optional added extra. It is fundamental to our spiritual practice, and without it our practice dries up, doesn’t flow. That was certainly my experience with setting an intention of enjoyment for the retreat — I could feel how that intention let my experience flow, in a certain way.
Ratnavandana thinks mudita is possibly the Brahma Vihara that is most often overlooked. At times it can be hard to even feel like we have a “right” to mudita. My dad is very ill, and earlier this week I knew he was having a particularly bad day. As I poured myself a cup of tea, I remembered mudita, and tuned in to the loveliness of the tea I was about to drink. Then I felt a pang of guilt — how could I enjoy myself right now when I knew what my dad was going through? I realised as well what a familiar feeling that was — who am I to enjoy myself while others suffer.
But in actual fact, how would it help my dad or anyone else for me to not enjoy my tea?
There’s much more to be said about mudita — check out the retreat if you’re interested. I’ll be reflecting on and practising it as much as I can in the months to come. It may be a challenging time to practise mudita, but perhaps that’s when it’s most important.
Rachel Woodburn